HOW TO OVERCOME TOXIC SELF-CRITICISM
It’s admirable to do your best and attempt to be the best person you can be. It only makes sense to examine the negative results in your life and try to do better the next time. But it’s also easy to become too self-critical in the process.
A high level of self-criticism is detrimental to success and good mental health—as excessive self-criticism hurts your self-esteem and confidence.
Signs that you might be too critical of yourself:
You’re Paralyzed
One sign that you’re overly critical toward yourself is a lack of action. If you’ve been stuck in the same situation for an extended period of time, you’re being too hard on yourself. Otherwise, you’d be out there taking care of business and making positive changes in your life.
You’re Slow to Forgive Others
When you can’t forgive yourself, you’re unable to forgive others. When you can let go and forgive yourself, you can do the same for the other people in your life.
You’re Never Pleased with Your Accomplishments
It doesn’t matter to you that you finished school or just started your business. You’re bothered by the fact that you didn’t complete the program sooner, or that you’re not already a millionaire when your business hasn’t even been in open for six-months.
You’re Not Assertive
You have to be comfortable with yourself to feel comfortable with asserting yourself. Assertiveness also brings the risk of rejection, but being too self-critical can increase your fear of rejection from others.
You Consistently Say Bad Things to Yourself
A constant barrage of self-criticism is highly damaging. Imagine telling your child that they “can’t do anything right” and should just “give up.” It sounds crazy when viewed from that perspective, right? So, why put yourself through that?
You’re a Chronic Underachiever
Underachieving is both a symptom and a cause of self-criticism.
Others Feel Comfortable Being Critical of You
The average person isn’t comfortable criticizing others. But, after they’ve heard you criticize yourself over and over and over again, they’re likely to feel like they can join in on the criticism too.
You Criticize Yourself in General Terms, Rather Than Just for Specific Events
There’s a difference between telling yourself that you’re not a good tennis player and telling yourself that you’re not good at anything. General criticism is false and highly damaging. A lack of success at a particular activity doesn’t make you flawed at everything, Queen.
You Keep Your Opinions to Yourself
While you have every reason to avoid telling your neighbor Karen that potato salad shouldn’t have raisins in it, you should feel comfortable sharing the title of your favorite book or TV show. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your opinions freely, you’re too concerned about being judged by others or maybe saying the wrong thing.
You Spend Too Much Time Dwelling on Your Mistakes
Can you move on quickly after a short period of self-reflection, or do you dwell on your mistakes for an extended period of time?
You Find Yourself Unable to Ask for Help
It shouldn’t be difficult to ask for help. In fact, the more help the better! Are you afraid of being viewed as incapable? If so, you’re too critical of yourself, Queen. Asking for help creates a space for vulnerability, and being vulnerable is one of the strongest things you can be. Strength does not exist in silence.
You Can’t Give Yourself a Single Compliment
Everyone is good at something. Or, maybe, you know you’re good at a few things but don’t think you deserve a compliment. Either way, you’re being too hard on yourself.
You’re sabotaging yourself by being overly self-critical, Queen, and you limit both your success and your mood. Realize how much you harm yourself with self-criticism, learn from your mistakes, and apply this information with enthusiasm. What’s more powerful than you?
To receive more information on how you can change the narrative, contact us today.