HOW TO MEET YOUR SHADOWS
Here are 5 things that will make it easier for you to approach integrating your shadow:
1. Cultivate Self-Awareness
Meeting our shadows requires us to cultivate a self-reflective mindset—the ability to stop and observe our behaviors, thoughts, and feelings.
Mindfulness meditation practices help us foster non-judgmental awareness—the ability to stay aware of the present moment without involving the inner critic or other modes of judgment. But, meditation itself isn’t enough.
Self-awareness and self-reflection are a precursor to shadow integration because they help us observe and evaluate our feelings and emotional reactions without judgment or criticism.
That’s why we focus on the importance of creating balance in our lives. Let’s make peace with our past and help to co-create our future all with the power of NOW!
When we find this balance, there’s less resistance to seeing our shadows because our ego isn’t in charge anymore.
2. Create a Space for Self-Honesty
Practicing self-honesty is easier said than done. Our early life experiences condition us for self-deception. However, self-honesty and integrity are mandatory for working with our shadows.
It's easy to tell ourselves whatever we need to in the moment, but actual self-honesty means being willing to see unpleasant attributes in our behavior and personality that conflict with how we perceive ourselves.
It is usually uncomfortable to come to terms with our disowned parts, which is why the ego invests so much energy in repressing them. Seeing and accepting our insecure and selfishness parts, for example, can be challenging—especially if we perceive ourselves as a "good person."
To take an honest look at our attitudes, behaviors, dark thoughts, and emotions requires courage. The rewards are worth the discomfort, as these honest confrontations with your shadows help reduce the splits in your mind. This courageous act unlocks more of your creative potential, opening a new world of possibilities for your internal growth.
3. Create a Space to Cultivate Self-Compassion
Before you get to know your shadow, it is helpful to cultivate a sense of friendliness with ourselves. Without friendliness and self-compassion, it is difficult to look at our darker sides.
If we always try to be a good person and strive for perfection, or if you're hard on yourself when you make mistakes, it may be challenging to confront your shadow.
If you’re accustomed to feeling shame or guilt, you need to transmute these emotions with friendliness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion.
On the flipside of this, if we think too highly of yourself—a sign of ego inflation—then we'll likely drop down (to deflation) before seeing ourselves accurately. Here, self-compassion is also helpful.
Start by accepting your humanness. Remember that we all have shadows, so there's nothing wrong with facing them. It's when we ignore our shadows, they become in control and real can problems arise.
4. Own Your Projections (again and again…)
Because we repress what we disown within us, we invariably project them onto other people, objects, and our environment.
Shadow integration comes down to owning our projections. How do we do this? The first step in recollecting our projections is to become conscious of the fact that we’re in a constant state of projecting. Basically, we are experiencing reality through our projections. That is, based on experiences from the past and things we’ve seen in our societies, we project out images from our mind onto other people and situations.
When someone evokes an emotional response within us, it’s a sign that we’re projecting a disowned quality from our shadows onto whoever. Taking back these projections is an essential step in integrating our shadows.
5. Write Down Your Discoveries
Similar to how a dream escapes us as soon we wake up, our disowned parts can elude us— even after we catch them. A writing journal where you record your discoveries about yourself is key. Be sure to continually review your insights and findings to help you to connect the dots, leading you to an increased awareness of self.
For more information on shadow work/integration and how you can apply it to your own life, contact us today.